ABOUT

Blogging, Harry Potter, green tea and cats.
Healthy living and positive vibes.

I'm Amy, a 21 year old student studying BSc (Hons) Fashion and Textile Retailing at the University of Manchester, fresh from completing a year of video art specialisation at University of the Arts, London.

Aspiring fashion merchandiser. Always writing, always photographing.

Shortlisted to win 'Best New Beauty Blog' in the 2014 Cosmo Blog Awards. Shortlisted to win 'Young Person's Recognition' in the 2015 UK Blog Awards.

'Dreams don't work unless you do'


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5 Things - Staying Organised

So exams are finally over! I woke up this morning at 5.30 (as usual), sat bolt upright in bed and immediately the stress kicked in. I have become so used to this 5-hours-a-night sleep routine for no other reason than there simply aren't enough hours in the day for me to sleep for any longer. Upon the realisation that I actually sat my last exam yesterday, I sank back into bed, and managed to fall back asleep for another hour (trust me, 6.30 is a luxurious lie in in my world).


I've lost count of the amount of times people have told me it's easy being a student because of the lack of contact hours and relentless partying, but for me that is simply not the case. Trying to juggle my blog, my social media accounts, being treasurer of two university societies, a campus rep for Victoria's Secret PINK, along with dedicating the personal time I need at the gym and food prepping all whilst trying to maintain a first class honours degree can get pretty challenging at times… I'm lucky if I can even squeeze in one phone call a week with my boyfriend, and I can't actually remember the last time I sat down and watched TV. But hey ho, that's the lifestyle I have chosen and I would't have it any other way.

A few people have left comments or emailed me recently asking how I find time to keep my blog going along with everything else I've got going on, and the honest answer? Recently I haven't. I have regrettably neglected my blog, and after hours and hours of tweaking last night, it's new mini facelift has given me the perfect motivation to fall back in love with blogging. We all have times when things get a little bit too much, but things will always smooth over again. Below are my five little tips about how to stay organised when you feel overwhelmed with commitments:

001. Plan - I cannot emphasise this one enough. I literally timetable every single waking hour of my life. It sounds incredibly sad (and it probably is), but it is honestly the only way I could get through each week without a full blown breakdown. I have a huge excel document with every day of the month down the left hand side, and every hour of the day across the top. I then fill in exactly how I will spend all my hours (within reason). Not only does this help you reach mini goals with coursework deadlines and writing blog posts, but you also feel amazingly calm if you manage to get ahead of schedule and there is nothing more satisfying than crossing off activities as they are completed. 

002. Don't leave things until the last minute - When you're set a deadline and have weeks to complete it, it is incredibly easy to place it to the back of your mind and focus on the more imminent deadlines. However, only focusing on one thing will lead to a constant cycle of stress and panic that activities and commitments will not be fulfilled. Plan ahead, set mini deadlines and most importantly plan some down time too!

003. Buy a filofax - Or some other form of planner or organiser. Technology is great, but nothing truly beats pen and paper. I carry my filofax with me at all times, and as well as acting as a diary and notebook it is great for blog post planning too. It's always handy to keep a journal close by because the best ideas often come at the most random times and it becomes much easier to plan if you can jot them all down in a central location

004. Make a list - I am an avid list maker. I make lists for everything- I make that many lists that my to do lists have to do lists. But lists really do help. It is great to visualise everything so that your brain can get a better grasp on the amount of things you need to complete

005. Don't panic - I know, how hypocritical coming from the world's #1 panicker. Although I am still partial to the occasional panic, years of experience have taught me that this state of mind is unbelievably  counter productive. You won't achieve anything if your mind is running at 120mph just trying to process the task it is trying to complete. Sit down, tidy your desk, have a cup of tea and ease yourself through your long list of commitments slowly. Be kind to yourself and celebrate every milestone you pass.

Jess Wright X Ann Summers*

Recently I had the pleasure of meeting the lovely Jess Wright, to sample, view and talk about her new swimwear collaboration with Ann Summers. Humbly down to earth and even more stunning than she appears on TV, Jess' genuine nature shines out from the moment you meet her, and it's not hard to see why her recent collaborations are doing so well.

Speaking about the collection herself, Jess says 'I'm so excited and flattered to be working with Ann Summers and to be their first ever celebrity face of swimwear - what a compliment! I've always been a huge fan of the brand and the collection is the perfect mix of glamour, sexiness and playfulness.' The collection includes 15 pieces, with Jess telling me her favourite are the high waisted 'pin up' style bikinis, a trend she is backing as a huge seller for the SS15 season.

Famous for her gorgeous curves, I was intrigued to ask her opinion on the rise of 'size zero', and if she felt like being the face (and body) of this new swimwear collection was something that she saw as a positive step in the right direction, promoting a different body shape to younger girls. True to her modest nature, Jess seemed flattered that I had suggested she was such a positive body role model, and stated that she would love for young girls to grow up appreciating their body and loving their shape for what it is, agreeing that is refreshing to view a collection on a curvier body shape.

The collection itself is absolutely beautiful, the perfect mixture of shapes and styles, from high wasted to bandeaux to push up to cut away swimming costumes, there is a style to suit any body shape and the collection of wraps and cover ups make a perfect match for a full holiday outfit.

You can buy your perfect summer bikini here!

Don't Live Someone Else's Dream

When you are a child, you are constantly told not to do things. Don't eat with your mouth open. Don't play with your food. Don't talk to strangers. I used to question why adults always told us not to do things, why they had the power to say 'don't', but were allowed to do so themselves. I assumed that with age came freedom, that I would outgrow childhood, and with it, outgrow people giving me instructions about the right and wrong way to live my life. But I was wrong.

When I was fifteen, we started to have careers meetings at school; discussions about which A-levels we were thinking of choosing, which universities we would be applying to and ultimately which career path we wanted to follow. We underwent psychometric testing (the results of which were extremely questionable considering my straight-A-student friend was told she should become an afro-caribbean hairdresser). We all laughed at the time, but ultimately that sentence summarises everything that is wrong with careers advice. Just because you are a straight-A-student doesn't mean you shouldn't become an afro-caribbean hairdresser if that is the path which you want to follow. And on that note, why are we trusting such an ambiguous piece of computer software to make important life decisions for us anyway? I sat down in my careers meeting, in front of my form tutor and told him I wanted to go to the best art school in the world (a pretty ambitious dream by most peoples standards), to which I was asked 'are you really sure that's the right choice?', and to which I replied 'yes'. How else would I pursue a career within the art/design/film/fashion industry if I was unable to study the subjects that would educate me in this field? Because I went to private school and was predicted A*'s in Chemistry and Maths, it was seen as a failure or a cop out to pick these 'soft options', to pursue a career which did not solely rely upon academic credentials. I was asked to consider a different career path, to rethink my choice, to 'keep my options open', but I stuck to my guns and with the help of supportive parents and the backing from my art and graphics teachers I was allowed to study the A-levels that I wanted.

For the two years that followed I was told on an almost daily basis that I was only succeeding and achieving the grades I was achieving because I chose 'easy subjects'. Aspiring medics looked down on me for wanting to attend art school, and my stress was never placed on the same level as anyone else's due to the nature of the subjects I took. It did not matter when I achieved 100% in both my art and graphics A-level, it did not matter when I received an unconditional offer from the art school I dreamed of, and it did not matter when I received an award for outstanding academic achievement and the subject prize in graphic design, because ultimately the subjects I took were not 'real subjects'. Eventually, if you are told something too many times, these voices of judgement can cloud and drown out your own voice. Don't let them. Go after your dreams no matter how unattainable others think they are.

So I got thinking: what gives someone else the right to take anyone else's dream away? Just because you are aspiring to a different dream than me doesn't make yours any more important. Whatever your dream may be, no body has the right to tell you you can't; it is guaranteed that at some point someone has thought up something crazier and succeeded. If no one thinks you can, then you have to, not just to prove them wrong but to prove yourself right. It is better to try and fail than to never have tried at all. To never have tried means to never have failed, but to always live in regret and wonder 'what if'. If you try and don't succeed, at least you can live in the knowledge that you tried your best.

People telling me I couldn't made me more adamant to prove that I could and I would. (And I did). Remember: at first they will ask you why, then they will ask you how. Nothing comes easy, but hard work will always pay off. It is so easy to see someones success, see them at the end of the road and assume that you will never be able to get to that place. If you never saw the struggle it took for them to get there, of course their journey will seem easy. But it wasn't, because if it was easy, everyone would have it. Those not determined enough to put in the work required will always find an excuse as to why you found your success when they didn't. 

So now I've reached adulthood, I'd like to add a few 'Don'ts' of my own. Don't live your life for anyone but yourself. Don't make choices based on any opinion other than your own. Don't live someone else's dream. 'For in dreams we enter a world that is entirely our own'.

A New Chapter: Goodbye Anxiety, Hello Life

'Your life does not get better my chance, it gets better by change.'

Generalised Anxiety Disorder (and numerous horrific bi-products) consumed my mind and my life for far too long. The lines are blurred when it comes to 'recovery', but I realised recently that for the first time I referred to my struggle as a thing of the past. My name is Amy, and  I had anxiety. Yes I am still battling… yes every day is a struggle… yes sometimes I still want to curl up and give in- but I don't. And that, for me, is what 'recovery' is all about. It's not ridding your mind of the thoughts altogether, but having the strength not to act upon them.

 People often struggle to understand mental health issues, especially when these situations happen to people like me. People who come from a loving family, live in a nice house, are well educated and on the outside appear to have everything required to live a happy and healthy life. But despite that, I was trapped by my own mind. It started out very simply: the death of my granddad confused me. At 8 years old I watched a strong man I loved and cared about more than anything in the world become weak as he battled with Cancer. There were a lot of thoughts inside my head which I couldn't piece together, and the only rational way my mind could possibly comprehend the situation was to convince myself that as long as my granddad remained stronger than me, was bigger than me and was proud of me, he would be OK. Eventually, he lost his five year battle and passed away. Distraught and guilt ridden, I couldn't bring myself to attend his funeral, I refused to accept the reality that a man I admired and cared about so much was no longer there. And I felt immensely guilty about it. What started out as grief developed into a relentless ten year inner battle of self-destruction.

Anxiety was like a friend. A friend that bitched behind my back, and didn't invite me to parties, yet I loved it unconditionally despite this. It lured me into a false sense of security and then trapped me. It used me and humiliated me, but it also protected me. Anxiety made me fear everything, but anxiety was my comfort blanket. To let go and take on the world alone was a frightening prospect- anxiety lessened this fear, but all the time I knew that it was the root of all my problems. Anxiety was both the cause and the solution. I stayed locked up in my room where no one could see me, speak to me or harm me. Never once did I realise that the very thing that was harming me was my own mind, and being alone with the most destructive weapon I owned was the quickest way to ensure I sprinted head first into disaster.

It all came to a head when I was 18. When I was no longer just feeling stressed, no longer just feeling lonely, no longer just losing weight, but also losing my reality, my personality, my friends. I began a destructive cycle in which I pushed everything away from me and became an empty shell of the person that I once was. Internally I have always been very strong willed, but externally I have continually searched for approval from everyone around me. From as young as I can remember I have always allowed friends to control me. As I grew up, I allowed boys, hormones and emotions to control me. And then I allowed stress to control me. And then I allowed food to control me. And then I lost all control. Anxiety was in 100% control of me and my life. I was no longer Amy. I was a reclusive, destructive, introverted shell. 

A shell so frightened of life that I no longer lived at all. So frightened that I not only stopped eating, but stopped drinking water too. So frightened of myself that I refused to look in a mirror, some days refused to switch on a light, and some days refused to even open my eyes and leave my bed at all.

And then I realised that I had two options: 1. To spend every single day of the rest of my life existing in the way I was currently existing. 2. To live.

And I chose to live. I realised that life was hard and life was unfair, but being cruel and horrible to myself was not going to make it any easier. I was a bully. I spent ten years of my life treating myself in a way that I would never dream of treating another person, yet I never regarded myself as being worthy of the same treatment as anyone else. In my head I was worthless, I didn't deserve success or happiness because I was weak and guilty. I tried to redeem myself through working, becoming a straight A student, but it wasn't enough, I tried to make myself as small as possible, hoping that I would eventually fade away so maybe people would begin to see past me and ignore me, but it didn't work. So eventually I stopped doing anything at all, and would lie in a dark room for days with no other human contact. I deserved to be ill. The countless blood tests and doctors visits were punishment to myself. But deep down, I no longer wanted to be punished. So I tried really really hard to stop. The two years and five months since I made that decision have been the hardest of my life. It is physically exhausting battling with yourself from the moment you wake up at 4am to the moment you go to sleep at 11pm, but here I am, stronger and healthier than I ever dreamed I could be.

I realise now that strength is not what I once thought it was. My granddad never lost his strength, he was and always will be the strongest person I have ever had the honour of knowing and loving.

I'm not really 100% sure why I was inspired to write this blog post… maybe it was the recent realisation that this journey is a slow process, but quitting won't speed it up. The realisation that on a day to day basis things don't seem any different, but when you take a moment to step back everything has changed. Maybe it was the fact that it was reading blog posts similar to this one that encouraged me to seek help in the first place, the fact that reading other people's stories gave me the strength to see that there is another happier and healthier life beyond anxiety. Or maybe it's the hope that someone in the world will be feeling like I once felt, and this may help them to realise that there is always a choice.
I chose life and you can too.

Hello May


It doesn't seem like two minutes ago that I was celebrating New Years Eve, yet here we are, one week away from exam time and a third of the way into 2015 already. Time seems to be flying by like lightning, and it's so easy to just let it keep running past you without taking the time to step back and really appreciate the things you have achieved with it. Four months in to the year and I have come so much further and achieved so much more than I thought I would have by this point. At times, progress can feel slow and stagmented and maintaing motivation can be hard, but sometimes looking back at a slightly bigger picture can reiterate just how far you've come. 

In light of these positive changes, I've decided to review my New Years Resolutions, and set myself a new set of goals to work towards for the next few months...


1. Celebrate every tiny victory
2. Take time every day to appreciate the amazing friends and family that I have
3. Continue to drink at least two litres of water a day
4. Make sure I find more time to dedicate to my blog
5. Be happy, be positive and smile
6. Continue to track my gym progress and...
7. ...Promise to stop comparing this to the progress of others
8. Treat myself how I wish to be treated by others
9. STOP unnecessarily spending so much money in the Trafford Centre
10. Take life one day at a time and stop worrying about tomorrow

ADVERTISING

As of May 2015 I will be offering monthly advertising packages on my blog. I am open to working with both bloggers and companies. Advertising packages will run from the 1st of the month until the end of that month, and a 10% discount will be applied if the advertising package is renewed for the following month. 

Stats (as of 29/04/2015)

Total Page Views: 275,233
Blog Followers: 2,994
Twitter Followers: 4,698
Instagram Followers: 3,261
Followers Across All Platforms: 11,138

Package One:

300 x 400 advert at the top of my sidebar
An individual #FF tweet on twitter every Friday of that month
A feature in my 'Meet My Advertisers' post for that month
Price: £79

Package Two:

300 x 250 advert in my sidebar
A group #FF tweet on twitter every Friday of that month
A feature in my 'Meet the Advertisers' post for that month
Price: £69

Package Three:

300 x 150 advert in my sidebar
A group #FF tweet on twitter every Friday of that month
A feature in my 'Meet the Advertisers' post for that month
Price: £59

Please email amy-lyons@hotmail.co.uk for further information